Gone fishing

I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but I went out and bought a fishing rod from one of the Chinese shops. The purchase came about because someone overheard a conversation I was having in a bar one evening. The bar owners husband likes to fishing on his day off, and he said that if I had 'the gear' I could join him. His suggestion was the local Chinese shop, so off I went, and spent my €14, and became the proud owner of an eighteen inch long plastic box. I didn't want to spend a fortune, and this 'kit' seemed to have everything I needed, apart from bait. At this point I must explain that I am not a fisherman, I have only ever caught one fish before, over thirty years ago! I was still at school, and went with a friend to the river Roding, which is about six inches deep. No sooner had I set up and cast out, and opened a can of coke, I got a bite! Chaos broke out, neither of us had caught a fish before, and hadn't expected to either. The fight to bring it in was hard, the fish wasn't giving in, but perseverance paid off, I reeled it in to the bank. What a whopper, it had to be the largest three inch stickleback I had ever seen! What next? We both ended up in the river trying to get it off the hook, so you know where I'm coming from. I digress. So, on a bright Saturday morning I parked up outside the bar, armed with my plastic box, a bottle of water and a 'sarnie', and a tin of sweetcorn. Why sweetcorn I don't know, I wasn't even sure where we were going, and I have yet to see it growing in a river or on the beach??? My friend came out still munching his breakfast, and said we would take his car, gesturing towards the mercedes he was slumming it in, and told me to put my 'gear' in the boot. He nearly wet himself. He was expecting a little more than a plastic box and a Consum carrier bag (I need to mention the supermarkets here have just started charging for bags, I will now have to buy bin liners!). We went to river in the middle of nowhere, and proceeded to unload his 'kit'. Folding armchairs, umbrellas, TWO fishing rods, and a coolbox you need an HGV licence to drive! We caught nothing, despite my guide for the day realising that the reason we weren't catching anything was due to a lack of beer, which was rectified by opening the bar in his coolbox. I enjoyed the morning out and decided I would go again. I have been a few times on my own and caught nothing, not knowing why, until today. Due to some observations, and a few comments in between fits of laughter by someone not much older than one of my grandchildren, I have seen the light! Apparently my rod is only half the size it needs to be (sure I've heard that somewhere before???), and you don't cast from a beach with a float on your line. You just use a large weight with a trailing line with your bait on, umpteen thousand locals can't be wrong, and by eight o'clock you can't get a spot on the beach! Did I mention I had wound the line the wrong way round on the reel as well? Come on, you can't look this good and have brains as well, can you? So I will be going back again, armed with the knowledge this time, and hopefully bringing something home for the table, a Lenguardo would be nice, anyone listening upstairs?